Skeletons in the Closet: How Your Worst Life Regrets Can Make You Stronger and Wiser


Even singer Frank Sinatra, in his famous song, My Way, admits he has a few. People have regrets, yet most make decisions with hopes of attaining positive ends.

Regrettable decisions and events happen, but they don’t have to influence the future, unless making you stronger and wiser for the time.

 Accept and Move On

Bad things happen to the smartest, most wonderful people in the world.  It’s a fact of life.  Yet, what we do after unwanted and regrettable events changes the future.  Ruminating over a scenario or event resembles avoidance rather than acceptance.  Long-term grieving is not a healthy ‘punishment’ or solution.

We all need time to cope and internalize, but only you know whether you’re avoiding or choosing to accept the opportunity to move forward.  If you need assistance, many find success at long term addiction treatment centers.

 Know What You Can Or Can’t Do

Some circumstances alleviated while others altogether reversed depending on subsequent actions.  You regret saying horrible things to a best friend, but admitting it was jealousy and rage, unwanted yet common feelings, talking and not your true feelings, repairs a relation and even makes it stronger.

Take action and make reparations, and if you can’t change someone’s feelings or reverse what happened, learn from your mistakes.

 The Past is a Concept

Have you heard newfound evidence about a court case or predicament between two parties, and then changed your mind about an event and those involved?  The past is physical and often post-observable, yet our feelings and associations to events can change over time.  (The wiser high school bully realizes his anger was targeted at himself and not peers decades before.)

The past is a concept that reshapes, expands, and contracts with time, counseling, and healthy reflection.

 You Are Not Your Mistakes

If a scientist wins an award for his research, should he then retire and never again continue with his career?  Conversely, if a quarterback has a bad game, should he then be traded to another team or never again allowed to play at a professional level?  We are not an amalgam of mistakes and triumphs.  We are complicated and sensitive organisms with profound thoughts, a range of feelings, and a limitless future.

You are not your mistakes and intentions are better reflections of the ‘you’ inside.

 Life’s Lessons Are Unexpected at Times

If we didn’t need lessons, we would all be masters of the universe.  Life is full of obstacles and the unexpected.  There’s no way we all could achieve a ‘perfect game.’  Dealing with life is more like being a good baseball hitter, considered ‘good’ if they achieve success three times out of ten.

You can’t prevent the unexpected but you can consider it a probability.  ‘Making the most’ of a situation, and extracting positives to use in the future are healthy methods of dealing with regret.

Regret is a form of recognizing and feeling remorse about a mistake…that’s in the past.

Recognizing a mistake is sometimes more valuable than not making one at all.  Live, learn, and reflect to maintain a healthy perspective, and if you need others to help get you there, they’re available.

Ruth Sirmans has lived a long and eventful life. When she’s not out visiting friends and family, she’s sharing her life experiences to help others cope with challenges and struggles. You can find her informative posts on many health and wellness blog sites.



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